Gamers Allure

Moving into Philadelphia I was extremely pleased to see the wonders of the city. Every night I see lights, friendly faces, and stores open into the A.M. hours. During the day, I see traffic, cops, and women. As a man, I can’t help but being distracted by the ladies. There are plenty of fine looking women here, be they short or tall, blonde or brunette; good looking girls are no longer a delicacy like they were in the country (farmer’s daughters excluded). I did not, however, think I would find these same attractive women in the women’s gaming community. Boy was I wrong.
I recently attended the Philadelphia Gaming Expo which was held in the Philadelphia Convention Center. Compared to most gaming expos, this one was small and relatively unfilled. They had several small tournaments for games such as Gears of War, Halo, some traditional Super Nintendo games, and some LAN events as well. Overall, it was not that exciting, due to the lack of gaming companies participating in the event. The company promoting Gears of War never showed up, and neither did Atari or Microsoft. I would say it was pretty disappointing as far as game events go; however, there was one very exciting portion to this particular event. This portion was known as PMS.
PMS, that’s right! We’ve all heard about it, and as guys, we all dread that fateful day every month when we get our balls removed. Fear not, my friends! All is not as it seems, well at least for the most part. PMS is actually a female gaming clan, and a fairly good one at that. They are a professional team with a variety of members. Each member specializes in a different game (unless they are participating in 2v2 matches), and every member treats gaming as a profession and a sport. Personally, I had the opportunity to play with one of the Gears of War girls, and I have to say that it was a good match, even though I beat her. I admit she was good at gaming, and that is all and well, but you may be wondering what she looked like?
Well back where I come from gamer girls are usually considered “nerds”, and nerds are commonly known as butt-ugly. Now I know it sounds cruel, but believe me when I say that in the place where I grew up this rule is never broken. So when I saw a beautiful blonde gamer come up and challenge me to a match, I nearly had a heart attack just looking at her. She had glitter on her cheeks, her hair was long and wavy, she had fine legs, and to top it all off, she was sporting a tank top. She was definitely one of those rare combinations of beautiful and hot, and she really spiced up the match, if you catch my meaning.
So that leads me to the question of what exactly is the perfect girl. I have to say, for a long time I thought that if I had Jessica Alba sitting on my lap, I would be a very happy man. Well that will never change, if Jessica was sitting on my lap, I do not think I would ever let her get up, but that is beside the point. What is the perfect woman? The perfect woman is a woman that not only has a smoking body, but also a woman that can enjoy the less “womanly” things as well as the things that most guys cannot get enough of, such as sports, cars, video games, and beer.
She was not the only nice looking one, don’t get me wrong. There were many fine looking girls at the gaming expo, and since the gaming expo itself was not that great (I was bored by the second day of the three-day event), I spent most of the time talking to the girls that were hosting or competing in the various events. It was interesting to find out that most of them were from other countries, (which is probably why they did not weigh a metric ton), and that they detested American girls. When I say this, I do not mean that they were not racist in any way. Their disgust for American girls stemmed solely from the lack of skill in American gamers. I guess America will never cease to amaze other countries’ denizens in the impressions we give off.
To give a little information regarding the rest of the events at the gaming convention, I would like to point out a couple things. The tournaments were poorly organized, for one. The Halo tournament was only a 2v2, with sign-ups on a piece of loose-leaf paper, no prize except for a pathetic excuse of a trophy, and a guy adding random people to the brackets when the contestants did not show up. The Gears of War tournament was even worse, believe it or not. First, we were told that we would be playing a warm up round with the PMS girls (which we did, and was pretty fun), but after the warm up match, we looked for the Gears of War tournament officials and, sure enough, they did not show! I guess it was not a big enough convention for them. There were also small competitions for “Dance Dance Revolution”, “Nintendo Classic”, and a premier showing of the upcoming “Rock Band”.
Besides the “Rock Band” demo, not much else was new, and nothing was truly worth the three-day pass. On the whole, I would say the money is worth spending for one day, and maybe getting one of the pretzels or microwave pizzas they offered as sustenance. In retrospect, I would not buy the three-day pass, nor would I recommend traveling across states to come check it out, unless your main goal is to meet that special type of girl that you just can’t find anywhere else.

Enjoy,
Jedidiah Weller