In the Streets of Philly

His mouth worked wordlessly as he hobbled happily down the street. His expression was one of pure joy, like a gleeman about to perform, he looked around at everyone in an attempt to spread his cheer. He was strong and well built, without an ounce of fat on him. He was a fighter, and an honorable one at that, never in his life did he pull a knife. But those around him never viewed him in that golden light. They saw that we walked with a wobble, his right foot never quite straight. They noticed the torn cloths on his back, and the stench of garbage permeating the air around him.

You may ask yourself how exactly this ties in with your personal life, and the answer is very easy. Every man who has ever had a woman has wanted to stand up for her, and protect her. Every man I know who has a decent woman often tries to impress her. Now of course there are many ways in which you can do this, including (but not limited to!) chocolate, valentine gifts, compliments, and presents. But many women enjoy more than just the occasional gift, such as the knowledge that their man will stick up for them. As a fellow warrior in the fight to please these damsels, I can tell you right and quick that one of the best ways to impress them is to stick up for them when they are confronted with something they consider unpleasant.

What sort of things do women usually consider unpleasant? Well walking in the streets of any major city could always be considered an unpleasant experience, depending on where you are and how well the street authority did in cleaning up. Even more unpleasant, however, would be the thought of a smelly, rotten toothed, hobbling hobo approaching a girl’s pampered bum and pestering them. Just imagine how you would feel if you spent the majority of your life trying to look pretty, and the exact opposite of all you’ve accomplished approached you and showed you how dirty the world really is.

Nonetheless, we need to be sure that they are not bothered much. So this blog is my gift to my fellow gentlemen. I guess we could consider the topic “How to impress your girls while dealing with the homeless”, and the goal as further increasing your woman’s faith and reliance in you. So, to start it all off, we will consider the most common of hobo encounters.

The most common encounter is also the most simplistic when looking at ways to deal with it. Imagine this: You and your girlfriend are walking along the streets, going to the local 7-11, when all of a sudden you catch sight of a raggedly looking man appear form around the corner of the building. He comes up to you, and says very simply “Hey buddy, got any change?”. You have two logical paths to choose in this situation. You can either A) Give him the loose change from your pocket, or B) Tell him that you are out of change. What is the problem with this? Well actually there is none! Congratulations, you have just passed lesson one in dealing with situations on the streets. Does this seem too easy to be true? Well, in a way it is. In this situation, we are assuming that the beggar is content with no (like most are), and just waits for the next person to come around. It is not always a perfect world however, and in light of such I pose to you the following situation.

You and your girlfriend just finished a romantic evening at the skating rink, and are heading home (who knows, perhaps even heading to bed!) when you catch a glimpse of a man trailing you from behind. At first you pass it off as just another normal citizen passing along the streets, until you realize that this man has caught up with you, and is tapping you on the shoulder to get your attention. He asks you for some change, and after you say no and continue walking, he persists rather than going the opposite way. Now this situation is a little bit trickier my friends and I advise to proceed with caution when dealing with it.

First off, you need to assure that you are not in any immediate danger. If you can, look at what he is wearing. Do you see a knife or a weapon of any sort? Are his cloths too baggy, where you would not be able to tell if he did have a weapon? If you feel confident that he is just banking on being able to intimidate, but has no malicious intent, feel free to show the man who is boss! Simply turn around, look him in the eye, and tell him flat out that you are not interested in giving him any cash, he is scaring your girl, and he better go home (well, maybe not “home”!). Most of these guys are not really looking for a fight, only some cash, and will move on to the next person they would like to try and bully. There is an innate problem with this approach, however. That problem lies with the possibility that the man who is following you happens to have more than just an attitude.

One of the hardest things for us guys to do is admit when we are defeated, but let me tell you, twenty dollars cash and a little pride is not worth your life. If you ever encounter a man with a gun, and you don’t happen to have a gun yourself, you very simply hand over the cash and don’t look back. Believe me when I say your girl will understand, and if she doesn’t, loose her!

In my own personal experience, I have never had a weapon pulled on me, and thankfully so! I have been in the other situations presented however, and for me at least, my advice has proven flawless. One final piece of wisdom I would like to impart on you readers before I go, however, is to trust your instinct above all else! If you feel like something is wrong, act accordingly, and do what you need to do, both in self defense and in dealing with your women. Everyone makes mistakes once in a while, but that is the best way to learn!